Father John Series #3

Chapter 3

Context of Chapter Three

This chapter is about The Truth. I used to believe that some people lied and some people told the truth. And that if two people spoke differently about the same event, one of them was lying. The third position can help sort out what the truth is without requiring that there be liars vs. truth-tellers. This story illustrates how one can use the third position to respect the truth of the other two positions.

Father John: How Do We Know?

Father John came into Bob’s office suite. Bob’s door was shut. Father John banged on the door, turned the doorknob at the same time and barged into Bob’s office. Bob clearly wasn’t expecting him.

            “Those sons of bitches,” Father John shouted. “Those goddamned sons of bitches. Those racist bastards. Pigs. Yes, that’s what they are pigs. They are all pigs. Nashville police are all racist pigs.” He paced the office as he raged. There was no chair without a pile of books or files. Bob quickly moved a pile out of one chair.

            “Sit down,” Bob said. “And stop yelling. I didn’t know priests cursed.”

            “Priests don’t,” Father John said, “I do. God will just have to forgive me. Besides God knows I’m right.”

            Just then Paul Dokecki peered in and asked, “You okay Bob?”

            “Yes, I’m fine,” Bob said. “Father John is just venting. He’s not angry at me. I don’t think.” And Bob looked at Father John as if to make sure.

            “No, I’m not angry at Bob,” Father John said to Paul. “But I am angry at the Nashville Police. I want you to help me get the police chief fired,” he said turning to Bob.

            “Well, I will leave you two to that project,” Paul said, his way of taking his leave.

            “What is all this about?” Bob asked.

            “It is a clear case of bigotry,” Father John said. “I have proof. I am right this time. My people are being systematically targeted, abused and mistreated by Nashville police. I assumed it would be this way when I came here. The South is racist. Some say Nashville is better than most Southern cities. It’s not. My people think it might be worse. You would think the black police officers would be different. You would think they had been the victim of racism and they wouldn’t perpetuate police racism. But they are no better.”

            “Tell me what you are talking about,” Bob said.

            “I’m talking about evil,” Father John said. “I’m talking about police predators exploiting poor Hispanics. I’m talking about justice vs. injustice, right vs. wrong.”

            “I still don’t know what you are talking about,” Bob said. “Can you tell me what happened? Something must have happened.”

            “It’s not just one thing,” Father John said. “It’s a million things that happen to my people everyday at the hands of a wicked and corrupt police department.”

            “Start by telling me about one thing,” Bob said.

            “Okay,” Father John said. “One thing. No. I can’t tell you one thing. I will tell you three things. First I was riding in Roberto’s truck. We were going to get mulch to landscape the church gardens. I wasn’t dressed like this in my priest robe and sandals. I was dressed like a laborer because I was going to help spread the mulch. Roberto had broken no laws. He was not speeding. He did not run a red light. He was driving a truck decorated in red and orange flames, a painting style typical of Latino vehicles. We looked like Hispanics. That was our only crime. A policeman pulled us over. He came up to the driver’s side and said, ‘I know you don’t have a driver’s license because the state won’t issue one to any of you spics.’ Roberto objected and said, ‘oh police officer I do have a license.’ The policeman replied, ‘then I will run you in for having a fake license or you can pay up. You know the drill.’ Roberto was confused. I just sat there dumb founded. I knew the policeman had no idea that I was a priest. I thought I would just watch and catch him in the act of shaking down a motorist. ‘What drill,’ Roberto asked. ‘It will cost you $100 to get out of this. That’s what I owe my bookie. I get you spics to pay gambling debts and take the money I win home to mama. Pretty good system don’t you think, hundred dollars. Fork it over. You Mexicans always carry lots of money with you cause you can’t trust the banks.’ Roberto didn’t have a hundred dollars. I had to loan him fifty. We gave the cop the money and drove away. I was stunned. Roberto was not. ‘This was cheap,’ he said. ‘I have had them ask for $500. It’s cheaper than a ticket would have been. I don’t have to go to jail or court. It’s not so bad. It’s worse in Mexico.’”

            “That’s one. I got a call in the middle of the night last week. It was the wife of one of the families in my parish. ‘Hurry they are beating up my husband.’ I rush over to their apartment complex. On the way I call the police and tell them to come too. When I get there I see Diego. He is sitting on his truck’s foot rail with blood running from his nose and the side of his mouth. Two men in security guard uniforms were standing over him. This time I’m dressed as I am now priest cassock. Diego greeted me saying, ‘Father John you go home. No problem. I’ll be fine.’ I asked what’s going on. Diego didn’t answer. One of the security guards said, ‘none of your business.’ Then the two police cars arrived. The police knew the security guards by name. ‘What’s the problem?’ one of the policemen asked. ‘Diego here was eyeing one of the white girls,’ the security guard began to say. The policeman looked at me and interrupted him. ‘So Diego was disturbing the peace. He was drunk and when you tried to quiet him down he picked a fight with you. Is that it?’ Then they all looked at me.

            “‘What happened Diego?’ I asked. I walked over to him to see if I could smell alcohol. Before I could reach him the police stepped in my way and said ‘We’ll handle this.’ Then he turned to Diego and said, ‘you want to go to jail boy?’ Diego said, ‘No.’ ‘Are you through causing trouble boy?’ the policeman asked. Diego said, ‘Yes.’ The policeman then told Diego to go home and he told me to go home too. I protested, but there was nothing I could do.

            “Later when I talked to Diego he said he was not drunk and that they stole $200 from him. He was not disturbing the peace. He just drove up to his apartment and got out of the car when the security guards jumped him. He was not flirting with a white girl. He didn’t know why they said that.

            “I did. It was to make the white policeman mad and get them to take their part against me and Diego.

            “That’s two. I have one more story to tell you, but there are many more, some that I know and more that I don’t. So I go to the police department. I ask for an appointment with the chief of police. They won’t give me one. They shuffle me off to a lieutenant who tells me I will have to go to my precinct captain. I know that won’t do any good. I insist on seeing the chief of police. I am completely stonewalled. So I attend a public meeting. I am polite. The meeting is about school violence so I raise my hand when it is time for questions and ask if I can talk to him for a minute after he is finished. He says yes. When the meeting was over I approached him. I told him these same two stories. He said, ‘Oh, they rolled a Mexican.’ I said what did that mean. He said, ‘Illegals have to carry their money with them because they do not trust banks and because they don’t have a social security number required to open a bank account. This makes them easy targets to rob. On the streets it’s called roll a Mexican. When someone needs money that’s what they do. They rob an illegal because they know that the illegal won’t report them to the police.’ I replied, ‘especially if it is the police who rolled them.’ He got huffy at that point. He said, ‘You got a name or a badge number. Do you have any witnesses other than yourself?’ I was too flustered to think of getting names or badge numbers and I knew I couldn’t get Diego or Roberto to charge anyone with anything. I said, ‘No.’ I had no names, badge numbers, or any witnesses other than me, but I thought he would want to know and do something about this kind of thing because these weren’t isolated instances.’ His reply was, ‘that’s the risk these illegals take. They should know if they want American jobs, they will be easy targets for American resentment. They pay no taxes. Perhaps this is the cost of sneaking across the border.’

            “That’s three. The bastard police chief. The epitome of evil. I want to get him fired. Help me.”

            “Those are awful stories,” Bob said.

            “Stories,” Father John shouted. “They are more than stories. They are the truth.”

            “They are your truth,” Bob said. “There are as many truths as there are actors.”

            “What do you mean by that?” Father John said. “I thought you were my friend?! Are you calling me a liar? Do you support robbery and corruption? Are you one of them?”

            “Yes I am your friend and no, no, no to the rest,” Bob answered, “look you’ve got me confused. Now I’m all caught up in this. You’re accusing me now and I’ve got to resist the temptation to defend myself or to apologize.”

            “I think I deserve an explanation,” Father John said.

            “I will give you one if you will calm down,” Bob said, “but I will not join you in that reality.”

            “There you go calling me a liar again,” Father John said.

            “No, I’m not,” Bob said this time raising his voice. “I know you believe what you said. I know you are telling the truth as you see it. And I would venture to say that most of what you have told me has factual historical support in reality. However, and this is a big however, I won’t join someone who constructs the world into two parts, good and evil. I will never join someone who thinks he is the champion of right and justice against wrong and injustice. There are more realities than just yours. I will help you if you will let me, but I will help you make new connections and build positive alliances. I’m not interested in going to war with the police chief in a ‘him’ or ‘us’ win/lose battle. While we might wound his reputation some, we will likely polarize the community and stir up more of that hatred and racism you are talking about.”

            “I want to kick ass,” Father John said. “I’m angry for my people. This is injustice. I will fight it with all I’ve got.”

            “You are angry,” Bob said. “That’s my point. When you are angry you have tunnel vision. You act this way and you will lose.”

            “That’s why I’m talking to you,” Father John said.

            “So what if I join you and you do get the chief fired,” Bob said. “You win that battle but will you win the war? What if the police work with the Immigration Service and target illegals in your congregation?”

            “They wouldn’t,” Father John said. Then he paused and was quiet for a moment. Then he said. “They would.”

            “They might,” Bob agreed. “The first thing I’ve got to do to help you is get you thinking with ideas instead of anger.”

“Okay,” Father John said, “I’m beginning to glimpse what you hear me saying. I forget you are Mr. Third Position. You stand for inclusion and you use three positions to create linkages to enrich our understanding. You see me stuck in two-category thinking.”

            “Right,” Bob said. “Why didn’t you talk to the Bishop about this?”

            “Because he wouldn’t be concerned about this,” Father John answered.

            “Well,” Bob said. “The Bishop might have gotten a more responsive and respectful hearing. When possible you approach a person in a powerful position with someone who has a position at their level: President to Pope. Bishop to Police Chief.”

            “I wish I could get the Bishop to be concerned about injustice to the people of my parish or any parish, but I can’t,” Father John said.

            “Well then I’ll have to serve as your consultant here then,” Bob said. “Now my job as your consultant and friend is to get you out of the good versus bad comic book universe and into the complex reality of human existence. The first step now is to see your adversary as a worthy opponent. To do that you must accept the notion that you don’t know all the truth, that there is another way to look at the same set of facts. There is a way to appeal to the best in you and your adversary so that each of you can have honor and dignity.”

            “I don’t know how I’m going to believe that I don’t know the truth,” Father John said.

            “I don’t either right now,” Bob agreed. “But that’s where we must begin. We must begin with what is the truth.”

            “So are we going to have to have that modern versus postmodernism crap?” Father John said. “I don’t understand that stuff and I don’t want to.”

            “Okay,” Bob said, “I will try to stay away from academic language. But to let go of your righteous position (which, by the way, is what Jung, Bowen and Peck think of as evil).”

            “Me evil?” Father John said.

            “I shouldn’t have begun there,” Bob said. “Let me start over. Our job is to get you out of your emotions and help you begin to think instead of just feel. We have to help you build a thought structure that is useful instead of one that’s not.”

            “This better be good,” Father John said. “You think I’m evil!”

            “That’s why we all need the help of a good theory so let me bore you for a bit with a theory. Perhaps that will calm you down and give you some perspective. There are those who think reality is knowable. There is such a thing as truth, even absolute truth. These are the modernists.”

            “And that would be me, the Pope and most Christians,” Father John said.

            “Well,” Bob said. “There are a great many people who take the opposing position that truth is relative to the observer’s point of view. These are the relativists. Instead of using modern vs. post modern, let’s use Star Trek. Did you watch Star Trek?”

            “It’s been years,” Father John replied. “I don’t remember much about it.”

            “On Star Trek there were three positions. Dr. McCoy represented emotions. He was always arguing and exposing his emotions. Reality was relative to one’s perspective and how one feels. Mr. Spock was half Vulcan half earth human. He chose to suppress the emotional human side to him. He behaved as if he were only logical. He always spoke matter-of-factly and all his solutions were based on logic. Captain Kirk represents our third position.”

            “So you’re saying Dr. McCoy represents post-modernism, truth is relative,” Father John said. “And Mr. Spock represents modernism, truth is knowable and absolute. So what does Captain Kirk represent?”

            “Captain Kirk’s thought process encompassed both Dr. McCoy’s position and Mr. Spock’s position,” Bob said. “He used his experience as his absolute truth. He believed what his experience taught him.”

            “So how does Captain Kirk’s position work?” Father John asked.

            “Do you know what I feel right now or what I’m thinking?” Bob asked.

            “No,” Father John said, “not exactly. You seem to be alert and interested in helping me. But I can’t be sure.”

            “Do I know how you think and feel?” Bob asked. “I know you were mad, and that you wanted the police chief fired, but that was when you first came in. Right now I don’t know what you think and feel.”

            “So what’s your point?” Father John asked.

            “My point is that I am the absolute authority of what I think and feel. And you are the absolute authority of what you think and feel. My experience is my truth and I should believe it and use it. Your experience is your truth and you should believe it.”

            “I understand that I know more about me than you do,” Father John said. “But sometimes I may know more about you than you do.”

            “How is that?” Bob said.

            “I may be able to tell by your body language that you are lying,” Father John said.

            “And I won’t know if I’m lying?” Bob asked. “Of course I will know. You can’t be the authority on you and me both. You have to respect that I know more about me than you do and I have to respect that you know more about you.”

“I guess that means that I must respect you as the authority on your truth,” Father John said. “And you must respect that I am the authority over my experience.”

            “Yes and what’s more,” Bob said. “We can never safely assume our truths are the same, even about the same event that we experience together.”

            “I get it,” Father John said, “Our truth may be similar. They may overlap, but they won’t be precisely the same.”

“So your third position is your experience,” Father John said.

            “Yes,” Bob answered. “And each person’s experience of their truth deserves respect and honor.”

            “I see,” Father John said. “If we take the-truth-is-relative position of Dr. McCoy then nothing is knowable. We can’t even have faith that there will be a floor there when we step, but if we take the position of Mr. Spock that we know and represent the truth then we become Hitler and we force everybody to think as we do or we reject them and their reality.”

            “That’s right,” Bob said.

            “So where does this idea of the worthy opponent fit in?” Father John asked.

            “It is simply that you are not God,” Bob said. “God knows the truth but we humans don’t. You must assume that you don’t know the whole truth and that you need someone else with their truth to oppose you so that you can get a better picture of the reality that God sees. Captain Kirk understood that he only knows his truth, not The Truth.”

            “So,” Father John said, “You were being my friend when you opposed my plan to fire the police chief. You were my worthy opponent who saw something I didn’t. And that was that I was thinking inside an angry two category box.”

            “Yes,” Bob said. “Thank you for seeing me as the friend I was trying to be.”

            “It feels better to me too,” Father John said.

            “Using the third position, how does that help us know what to do?” Father John asked.

“I have a friend,” Bob said, “who is a psychologist who voted for Bush in 2004. He had considered voting for Nader but he felt this was a waste of his vote. Like most community psychologists I could not imagine that any man educated as a psychologist could vote for George Bush. He had a different opinion. He told me this:

“‘It’s not that I want to vote for Bush. It’s that I don’t want to vote for Kerry. My values inform my vote. I value a healthy whole human spirit. This is what I try to promote in my work. I want our president to have a soul. Kerry seems a lot like Gore to me. They both seem to have no soul to me. They act appropriately but I do not see anything beyond their exterior. Clinton was human. I loved him. He made moral mistakes, but he had passion. He was available to be known.

            “‘Bush is more like Clinton. He stands for something. He has a personality. He is knowable. Kerry is too socially appropriate. He does what appears to be right at the moment. Bush stands by his positions. He has a faith and I like that. Sure he is conservative and I know you don’t like that, Bob, but Reagan was conservative. His ideas were simple. The world politic has a five-year-old brain. It understands power. It responds to sticks and carrots. That’s how the Berlin Wall fell. So Bush is simple, not as sophisticated or complex as Kerry, but he is also not as confused.

            “‘I am a psychologist. I vote for the man who has a spirit, a sense of self. Conservative or liberal, those ideas are important to you, Bob. I’m not sure ideologies matter as much as the person. I like Bush as a person. That’s why I would vote for him.’”

             “So we act on our values,” Father John said, “like your friend. Is that what you are saying?”

            “My friend’s personal story led him to become a psychologist,” Bob said. “As a psychologist he was searching a golden heart in himself and in others. This was a part of his story. It became a value position later. The value position informed his belief that the human spirit was more important than policy in a president. He acted on that belief.”

            “So how do we recognize our truth as it emerges from these three positions: our story, our values and our beliefs?” Father John asked.

            “The truth that comes from third position thinking includes both truths of the opposing positions,” Bob said.

            “That’s confusing,” Father John said.

            “The real truth can be confusing,” Bob said. “Just as the third position does not allow for a clear win/lose, it does not allow for a clear right/wrong. Always with the third position, it is both/and.”

            “Oh no,” Father John said, “The truth is a paradox; it contains elements of positions that appear to oppose one another. The truth is never certain.”

            “No its not,” Bob said. “And what’s more you must not fall in love with the truth you discover.”

            “What do you mean?” Father John asked.

            “The solution you choose or the decision you make,” Bob said, “applies only to that problem at that time. Once you act on your decision, everything changes. The next problem that confronts you might challenge the truth you thought you discovered.”

            “So you never get it right,” Father John said.

            “No,” Bob answered. “You always have to change something for the next time because things never stay the same.”

            “And add to that to you are never exactly right in the first place,” Father John replied.

            “It’s humbling isn’t it,” Bob said.

            Father John didn’t answer right away. He stared into a stack of papers and books on the floor. He finally said, “Living with the third position is a lot of work.”

            “Yes, it is,” Bob, agreed.

            “Where does God’s truth fit into this third position thinking?” Father John asked.

            “Well I’m not sure I believe in God. I guess I do sometimes,” Bob said. “If I believe in God, I’m not sure about God’s Truth.”

            “But if you do believe as I do that there is such a thing as God’s Truth, where does that fit?”        Father John asked.

            “God’s truth would represent a point above the plane of the triangle. Remember in geometry, three points create a plane,” Bob answered. “And the three positions allows for possible temporary solutions or truths to be found anywhere inside that triangle.”

            “Yes,” Father John said.

            “Well,” Bob said, “God’s truth would rest at a point above that triangle creating a pyramid. This single point about the plane where the three line intersect coming from the three points that form the triangle represent perfection, The Perfect Truth, The Right Answer, The Platonic Ideal. This is something we can aspire to, but we humans will never reach. Now see how many creative possibilities there are inside the space of a pyramid instead the flat planes of a triangle. This fourth position is not on the same plane as the other three positions. It is God. If God’s will and Truth comes to us, it is just pure dumb luck and it won’t stay with us for long.”

               Father John started a mock drawing of a pyramid in the air. Then he began moving his hand up from the base of his imaginary pyramid toward its apex and he said, “And the closer you get to God the easier it is to find the truth at the apex of the pyramid and that is where all truths converge.”

“Perhaps,” Bob answered. “But I’ll be dead when I can answer that.”

“Earlier you said I was evil,” Father John said. “What did you mean by that?”

“I’m sorry I said that,” Bob answered. “I was exasperated and evil myself then. Evil is just another half of a two-category world. This time is it good versus evil. I should not have used that word.”

“No, I want to know what you mean,” Father John said.

“I meant that anyone who believes they are right and good and they must defeat their opponent creates a process that will become destructive.” Bob said. “When you wanted to fire the police chief and you believed you were right, you became such a person. I stand for three positions. I think we must create an open process, which allows all positions to speak. You thought you knew the truth. You were creating an “us” vs. “them” myth and I think such myths are dangerous and can become cruel.”

            “Okay,” Father John said, “I think I’m ready to revisit my ideas about firing the police chief, but I’m going to need some help. I stand firm against cops brutalizing defenseless immigrants. What are the three positions here?”

            “Well,” Bob said. “I see you representing the position of justice and human dignity for all. Would that be fair?”

            “Yes,” Father John said, “But with that as my position it is difficult for me to imagine an opponent with another position that could be called worthy.”

            “Let me take a crack at that,” Bob said. “The police chief has the responsibility to protect the legal rights of the people of this community. You feel the same responsibility when your parishioners are threatened. The police chief has a duty to the tax paying citizens of this city. They are his people. He is there to protect them. Many of your parishioners are illegal intruders into this country and city. He doesn’t have the same duty to them that he does to the citizens of this community. Morally perhaps he should, but legally these people don’t belong here. If he enforced the law he would call Immigration officials every time his policemen bumped into someone they suspected was here illegally. That’s the law. So from his point of view he is being kind to them by tolerating them inside the city limits. His job is to uphold the law. Which law would you have him uphold first. If he tries to enforce the law that protects Diego or Roberto he might also end up sending them out of the country when he enforces the immigration law. Their existence here puts him in a real bind. What does he do?”

            Father John again said nothing for a time. “He looked around the room as if he were agitated. Finally he said, as if talking to himself, “I have to see reality from his point of view. That’s the assignment here. Okay there is more to it than I thought at first. I’ll give you that. I can see it when you compared his duty to his citizens to my role with my parishioners. He does have a legitimate position. He has a community to protect. Okay, I think I can respect him now as a worthy opponent.”

            “Then you are ready for a third position,” Bob said. “What would you say to this as your third position? How about making the police force stronger and more effective with the Hispanic community.”

            “I’m not sure,” Father John answered.

            “What I am suggesting,” Bob said, “is a simple psychology principle. You shape behavior by ignoring what you do not want repeated and attending and praising the behavior that you want to be repeated.”

            “Yeah,” Father John said. “So how does that apply here?”

            “Well there is racism in Nashville,” Bob said. “There are bigoted policemen. You don’t want to reinforce these attitudes and behaviors by confronting them. That will just force them to defend these behaviors and find ways to justify them. Just as the police did with Diego when they made up that story about him disturbing the peace.”

            “Oh yeah,” Father John said with the excitement of discovery. “When I caught them and confronted them in the act, they strengthened their position and dug in. There was to be no change happening there that night.”

            “Right,” Bob said. “Exactly. But what if you took advantage of the police department ride along program? To be eligible one must attend the citizen’s police academy. This is a one-day training event. Then you can volunteer to ride along with the police in your precinct. How do you think they will behave toward Hispanics with you in the car?”

            “Better still,” Father John said, “how will a police man behave if the ride along volunteer was a smart attractive woman?”

            “Whatever works,” Bob said. “But the rider must be careful to attend and praise all courteous, kind, respectful, behavior toward Hispanics and ignore the rest.”

            “That will be hard,” Father John said. “But I think I can recruit some people for that.”

            Father John left Bob’s office with a mission to train and recruit several of his citizen parishioners to take on this ride along role.

            Two months later he met with Bob to report on his success.

            “I think the police are doing a much better job now,” Father John said. “We all learned a lot riding with them. We have spent so much time with them that we have gotten to know the names of their children, the sports they like, and the problems they face. Most of them are good people. I’m glad we didn’t try to get one of them fired. This has worked much better.”

            “That’s good news,” Bob said.

            “Well another thing,” Father John said. “We saw how hard it was for them to work among people when they don’t speak the language. A lot of their work involved fights between Hispanics at bars or in domestic disputes. And a lot of the time they don’t have a clue about what’s going on. It was a good thing we were there to translate. So we developed a list of volunteers for the police in the Hispanic precincts that police can call anytime and the volunteer will act as a translator for the police.”

            “That’s a great idea,” Bob said.

            “Yeah,” Father John agreed. “It works toward our third position value.”

            “How’s that,” Bob said. “I forgot.”

            “It was making the police force stronger and more effective among the Hispanic community,” Father John answered. “Remember?”

            “Yes,” Bob said. “I do now.”

            “Most of their work does not involve Hispanic confrontations with locals,” Father John said. “Most of their work involves helping Hispanics get their cars going or dealing with problems we have with each other.”

            “I can imagine they appreciated your help,” Bob said.

            “Yes, I think they did,” Father John said. “And I appreciate yours as well.”